Of Nightmares and Jealousy
by vickih
Summary: This is a prompt fill for the CarylDaily Valentines day challenge. My two prompts were Nightmares and Jealousy. this is Caryl so if that is not your thing this is not for you. Happy Valentines day All! Carol and Caryl on 3


**Of Nightmares and Jealousy**

**This is a prompt fill for The Caryldaily on tumblr. Happy Valentine's Day.. Carol and Caryl on **

_He was running down the corridor, frantic to find her. He couldn't lose her again! _

_The hall went on forever with doors lining each side. She was behind one of these doors, he just didn't want to open the wrong door. He knew the horrors that waited for him. _

_His heart raced, his breath labored, the voices in his head screamed at him. _

_Sweat poured from his brow, his hands slick. He could feel the bow slipping in his fingers. _

_He had to pick the right door!_

_He couldn't face what was behind the wrong ones._

_All of his fears, exposed and mocking him._

_Everything he had ever wanted, denied._

_All of his beliefs about himself made out to be a lie._

_He HAD to find her!_

_He could hear her now, crying in fear, in pleasure,_

_Calling out to him, begging him, BEGGING him to find her._

_He was close, he knew he was, he had to be. _

_She had to be near._

_He stopped in front of a door, desperately hoping it was the right one, that he made it in time._

_His hands shake as he reaches for the knob, grasping it and wrenching the door open._

_His heart breaks as he falls to the floor, he's too late._

_Always too late._

_Everything he had left in the world laid out on the floor, and empty vessel that once held HER. _

_Her blue eyes, now clouded as she reaches for him…_

"FUCK!" Daryl yells as he jerks awake.

He tries to calm his heart, his breathing, his mind.

He has to see her, check on her

Make sure she is still Carol and not a thing.

He jumps from his bunk and rushes to her room.

His hand is hesitant on her curtain, he is afraid.

He grips the curtain tighter, steeling his nerves.

Slowly, ever so slowly he pulls the curtain back just enough for him to slip in to her room.

He glides across her floor, silent

As silent as he stalks the forest.

He lowers his hand to her, wanting to touch her, but knows he shouldn't.

She breathes softly, lost in dreams, dreams of beauty he hopes.

His hand hoovers over her face, fingers barely brushing her hair.

He knows he needs to leave before she wakes, but just can't bring himself to go.

He wants to see her eyes, her hear voice call his name,

Feel her hand on his arm, in his hair, on his body.

He WANTS so much, from her and for her.

He leans over her placing the gentlest of kisses on her cheek before turning and leaving her room.

**Nightmares and Jealousy**

Daryl walked out to the tower, knowing he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.

Hell to be honest he hadn't been sleeping well for the last few weeks.

When he arrived, he saw Ty and Sasha on duty.

"Everything ok?" Sasha asked.

"Yeah, go 'head and take the rest of the shift off. I'll cover y'alls shift."

Ty and Sasha shared a look. Daryl didn't look much better than some of the walkers wandering around the fence, but they weren't going to argue with the man. He seemed to get more volatile over the past month.

"If you're sure Daryl. " Sasha answered for both of them.

Daryl didn't respond to their good nights as the duo left. He leaned against the rail, staring at the darkness.

_Fuckin' dreams, messin' with me._ That had been a bad one, but not the worse one he has had.

_Opening the door to see her being beaten by Ed_

_Seeing her being bitten by Sophia_

_Seeing her walking into a hoard of walkers from grief_

_Seeing her taking the bullet instead of Axel._

_Finally having her in his arms only to have the dead rip her from him and all he can do is watch._

Those where bad but the others…God the others.

Daryl had always talked a good game, saying he didn't need or want anything. He had learned at an early age to not want something.

Wanting only set you up for disappointment, to hurt.

He has claimed to have never been afraid or jealous… he was a fuckin liar.

As a child he had wanted a bike, clean clothes, enough food, friends, a family like they showed on TV.

As an adult, he convinced himself that all he wanted was to get drunk, get laid, own a decent truck and to go hunting… a simple life.

It was a lie. A lie he happily lived before he met HER.

He watched her, had watched her for the last 2 years.

He watched her grow stronger, to free herself from her demons.

Watched her ability to care for and love others.

Watched her smile ease the pain, the fear that hid in those she loved.

After watching her for so long, he started to crave her.

Crave her words and her smiles. Her sweet calming words and her gentle touches.

For a short while those had been his and no one else, but now she shared those words and those smiles.

He hated it! He hated her for sharing and he hated the ones that received what should be his.

Yeah, he could say he wasn't the jealous type, but his dreams showed him the truth.

_He opens the door and sees her and Rick in a tight embrace the other man kissing her._

_He opens the door and sees her moaning in pleasure as Ty touches what should be his._

_He opens the door and sees her tangled in the sheets with Michonne, with Glenn, with MERLE!_

_He opens the door sees her standing there naked, the others hands running over her skin as she laughs at him calling him a pussy, telling him he's not a man._

_He opens the door…_

Daryl slams his fists into the railing, frantic to drive the images out of his mind.

He wants to talk to her, to love her.

_How the fuck do I do this? I gotta do this. _

He feels his eyes burn and his chest tighten as the sun breaks over the horizon.

**Of nightmares**

"Fuck!"

Another night, another nightmare.

He jumps from his cot and goes to her cell.

Just as he has all the nights before, he slips into her room.

He has to check to make sure she's ok, that she's still there.

He walks to her bed and kneels on the floor, his fingers reaching for her hair.

With his mind screaming at him and a barely there caress, he reassures himself she is still Carol.

He feels wasted, hollow almost empty…

He knows she could fill those empty parts of him, make him whole.

He's still afraid,

afraid of his feelings,

of rejection,

of the wanting,

of the power she has over him.

He brushes a kiss across her brow and gets up to leave.

"Daryl, don't go." she whispers to him.

He stops, frozen.

Wanting to run, to hide.

He stops, his heart beating hard in his chest.

Wanting to turn

To confess

To give in.

"Daryl, please don't go." She whispers again.

He can hear her moving, getting out of bed.

He hears her faint footsteps as she walks closer to him.

He wants to turn, to see her.

He's so fucking afraid.

She slowly reaches out to him, her fingers grazing the back of his shirt.

He can feel her breath on his skin, those fingers sliding along his back.

He can't breathe, the air refusing to enter his lungs.

His blood is on fire

Burning from her touch.

He wants more, needs more.

Words choke in his throat.

He starts to shake, tremors running through him.

She moves around him, fingers blazing a trail across his flesh.

Her hand glides down his arm and clasps his hand.

She guides him to her bunk, "Please stay." She whispers one last time.

Her words finally, finally penetrate the fog.

He looks into her eyes and sees everything he wants to say

Reflected back at him.

He sees the same fear, the same longings

The same love.

Air rushes in, his heart slows.

At his nod, her face breaks into that smile.

He knows, now, he was wrong.

He was wrong to think she shared **THAT **smile with anyone else.

He was wrong to worry that she wouldn't understand.

He was wrong to think there would ever be anyone

Anyone but him and her.

As he lays in the bunk, his arms wrapped around everything he has ever wanted

He feels all the jealousies and insecurities fade.

She embraces him, holding him close

Her lips brush his in the lightest of kisses.

"Sleep, love." She says "Sleep."

He wants to force the words out, to bring them to life.

She gives him another kiss

"I'll still be here in the morning."

That night and every night after, they held each other.

His nightmares and demons were vanquished

Not by brave words,

But by a steady and true love.


End file.
